Biotainment International satire
Needs a bit of editing…. but here it is out of the vaults…
Bio-tainment International, INC.
THIS IS A BILL
Dear Suzy Ortiz,
On October 3, 2002, the RIAA, the Replicating Industry Association of America, along with the National Genomic Publishers Association, and the Motion in the Ocean Association of America sent you a Cease and desist letter.
Biotainment International has now learned that you have once again infringed on our a copyright by reproducing without attaining permission. As the legal patent holder of your DNA, Biotainment International has the sole say-so on how, when, and with whom you may replicate. Doing so without express authorization and due compensation is a violation of national, international, and universal law.
This particularly egregious “Peer to Peer” nature of your conduct required us to file this lawsuit instead of just warning you as we have routinely done in the past. You have taken your biological replicating device created for purposes of lawful reproduction and converted it into a convenient mechanism for piracy. You are an unrepentant slut who just can’t seem to keep her legs closed.
Infringers, like you, need to understand your illegal actions can have real consequences. Too many have come to believe they are entitled to infringe as many copyrights as they can until they get caught, at which time they will simply be told to stop. To send the message home, we our offering you the opportunity to settle with us on terms we think are more than fair: you can return the infringed property by overnighting your children to us at your expense or you can pay damages via indentured servitude.
Should you refuse our settlement, on behalf of the presidents of the six major associations, we will be addressing your vexing sluttish ways with all appropriate officials.
Sincerely,
Loona B. Toona
President
March 19 2001 | humour and personal writings and on communication | No Comments »